So, it's over.  No matter how it ended and why, lets hope many lessons were learned that won't surface as "baggage" in the next relationship.  And were you really in love with him, anyway?  Or were you in love with his potential?  Dissatisfaction brings about change, and although it may take a little time to totally forget him or her, we can get started now in the forgiving department.  Whether you need to forgive him or forgive yourself, forgiveness itself is a part of the healing.  So let's get started...

Settle your differences.  Atone and Reconcile.

Every year, October 16th marks the anniversary of the historic Million Man March on Washington , D.C. which attracted international attention when it was called in 1995 by the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, and drew in nearly two million brothers in the spirit of atonement and reconciliation.  October 16th is now recognized as "Holy Day of Atonement," a day set aside for women and men to fast, pray and atone for wrongdoing. What is atonement?   According to the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, atonement means:  to cover, expiate, condone, cancel.  To effect reconciliation by some conduct or course of action; to cause to be friendly.  To render Holy.  Why wait another year for the next Holy Day of Atonement to take the needed steps to atone and reconcile with ex husbands,  ex lovers and ex friends?  During the Million Man March, brothers took a pledge to atone for failing to accept their responsibility as the heads and providers for their families.  They also atoned for the abuse and misuse of women.  We sisters can atone for our shortcomings too.   When was the last time you reached out for a decent conversation with your baby's daddy or ex partner?  Don't worry about his lack of repentance.  Most of us know someone who never seems to find a single fault with themselves, and never, ever asks for forgiveness or apologizes for a single, solitary thing.  Many folks still have a lack of communication issue that continues to stunt their growth and negatively affect their relationships.  You can't be bothered with that.  Worry about your own salvation.  Handling your business and acknowledging your shortcomings in the relationship, is handling your growth, and that makes you a better person than before.  And isn't the best revenge success?  Ask yourself:  Will I recognize,  acknowledge, confess, repent, apologize and seek forgiveness with those I KNOW I have acted wrongly?  Just commit to try.  

Talk about this on the boards